Many years ago, long before I had any knowledge of my spiritual path, I would find that two things would happen around doors: (1) I would get upset when I held open a door for a stranger and they didn’t say “thank you”; and (2) I would get upset when a stranger would let a door slam in my face as I followed them through it.
I spent years getting frustrated and as I started to pursue spiritual growth, this frustration led to a wonderful enlightenment.
There are many lessons when someone forgets to say “thank you.” To start, are we holding the door out of the goodness of our heart or are we doing so just for a “thank you”? Holding a door becomes a conscious responsibility because we understand the outcome if we let a door slam in someone’s face. The spiritual person knows that “karma” exists and that every action has a repercussion and that if they were to slam a door in someone’s face and break their nose that would be adding to their own bad karma. On the other hand, taking the moment to hold the door to prevent a negative outcome is worth the time for both their sakes.
Also, holding a door without appreciation doesn’t matter because that positive energy goes somewhere. Although the recipient of the good deed forgets or neglects to say “thank you”, it’s okay because, that energy – that positive, warm, kind energy – does go out into the world and somehow, somewhere will get passed along. The recipient, who normally would have allowed a door to slam, might next time actually hold a door without even knowing why. Subconsciously, they are learning about being kind.
There are lessons on forgiveness, too. If someone forgets to say “thank you”, they might be a spoiled, arrogant, nasty, selfish person – after all, aren’t we all in some way or other – and, hopefully, trying to correct that with self-work. However, perhaps, they are just going through a bad spell in life. Is it possible that someone they care about has just passed away, or they just lost their job, or they just had a fight with their best friend. Perhaps, it’s just the stress of life, financial problems, aggravation getting them down. Isn’t it best to forgive others for the cleansing of one’s own soul?
If someone slams a door in my face, I still get upset – but not angry – I actually feel sad that this person is so self-absorbed that they have lost their connection to others and, ultimately, divine. The more selfish and self-absorbed we are, the less we understand that we are all connected. What we do to others, we do to ourselves which explains the true law of karma that what goes around, comes around. Karma is real! Sometimes karma is immediate and sometimes it is delayed but it is something that we all need to consider.
Holding a door for the sake of expecting the next person to hold the door for you might, on one level, seem manipulative because you’re expecting an outcome from your behavior. Yet, how and why do we start to change and grow spiritually? The negativity we feel deep within ourselves stems from the dark actions of our past so, if this is the case, doing something (such as holding a door) for the sake of the knowledge that it is the “right thing to do” should be enough for the beginning of the transformation of the soul. The understanding that “what goes around, comes around” is the second half of the equation and that, too, is done at the soul level.
Finally, there’s the simple joy one gets in holding a door for someone in need. There was a Pediatrician where I was living and the mothers would come in and out of the main door with their strollers. When I was exiting or entering, I would always hold the door for them – it gave me great pleasure and joy to help them in this way. Did I always get a “thank you” – no – but it didn’t matter because I felt the joy of helping another human being.
As for others slamming the door in my face, well, I can only hope that – for the sake of their own happiness and if, by some miracle they are reading this, they awaken to the joy and understanding that this article hopes to present!
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